This is a critical distinction about being present with people we care about that I've never heard anyone identify Simon. "To spend is to give something of value. Yet, the phrase suggests it’s quality time you are giving up. It’s perhaps better to think of investing in quality time. This is an investment that is directly proportional to the attention you pay."
I mean, if you’re chatting up GBBO on the phone while watching with loved ones that counts as a technical challenge, if not a showstopper? 😏
Jokes aside, this was a great read. It highlights a serious matter but does it with equal parts sincerity and levity. I’ll remember this post far more vividly than scientific data on the impacts of phone usage on the brain, attention span. Might just be me but I care more about what phone usage does to folks’ hearts than their minds.
Many thanks for your kind words. I think you’re right. What phones do to the attention we give to others is more important than what they do to our attention span.
What an insightful, articulate look at digital distraction. You set the tone so well with the scene at the restaurant in Turkey. "... a holidaymaker in her 30s pushes a forlorn kofte around her plate." Then we learn that our holidaymaker is dining alone ... WITH her mother.
Nailing one of the 4 P's -- specifically "place" -- really drew me in, wanting more. And you delivered. As someone who has struggled creating a sense of setting in a story, your work reminds me how just a few details, like "a forlorn kofte" can be so effective. Very well done!
Some years ago, I gave away my television because I found it was too easy to watch Rubbish, hoping it would improve, it knowing that it probably wouldn't.
Unless I'm expecting a call, I keep my smart phone switched off.
Knowing how easy it is to doom scroll, I don't look at any of my social media except substack.
Now, my mind is full of stories, all I have to do is dictate them (into My Phone of course)
I remember when I got my first-ever mobile phone. I was living in Rome. I bought it off my flatmate. That night we went out for dinner with friends, some of whom worked for mobile providers. They asked to see my phone.
When I handed it round, it caused consternation. “It’s switched off!”
“Of course. We’re having dinner.”
“You Brits!”
Little did they (or I) know how things would change.
I am as guilty as the next for time spent on my digital necessity, way too much time!! The perfect tool for escapism. It has become an extension of my flesh and bones.
I believe this phenomenon will/is having societal wide implications beyond our comprehension. Bring back the days of public telephone boxes and reverse charge calls!!! Thank you for reminding to put it down/turn it off once in a while Simon!
I'm guilty of being distracted when watching TV! (My partner's fave TV show is RuPaul's Drag Race) I would clean the house and think I'm "being productive" but really I'm robbing us of quality time. Being distracted can look so many different ways. Thanks for shining a light on this one.
Spot on, Simon - when you mentioned TV I was thinking exactly the same thing about programmes with subtitles (and you clearly have excellent taste in shows!). A very enjoyable read but on a thought-provoking topic too.
I enjoyed Dark on Netflix (nevermind subtitles, a very complex storyline that includes time travel and family members at different ages, so definitely one that needs followed closely!) and Engrenages (aka Spiral) - a French detective show and also Dix Pour Cent (aka Call My Agent) for a more light-hearted watch!
It morphed a few years ago from a group chat about the Apprentice when some of us couldn’t take another 10 weeks of “Yes, Lord Sugar, three bags full, Lord Sugar”, “hit the ground running”, “I’m not here to make friends”, “I stepped up”, “I don’t think you’ve seen the best of me yet”, “I sold more than anyone else on my team”, and “if you make me project manager next week I won’t let you down”.
Those TV shows are great. Difficult to know which to recommend to start with. If you like politics and intrigue, Borgen. If murder mysteries are more your thing, The Bridge. If you like both, The Killing!
This is a critical distinction about being present with people we care about that I've never heard anyone identify Simon. "To spend is to give something of value. Yet, the phrase suggests it’s quality time you are giving up. It’s perhaps better to think of investing in quality time. This is an investment that is directly proportional to the attention you pay."
Thanks Rick. It’s something I need to work on constantly, but I have noticed a difference when I am more present.
I mean, if you’re chatting up GBBO on the phone while watching with loved ones that counts as a technical challenge, if not a showstopper? 😏
Jokes aside, this was a great read. It highlights a serious matter but does it with equal parts sincerity and levity. I’ll remember this post far more vividly than scientific data on the impacts of phone usage on the brain, attention span. Might just be me but I care more about what phone usage does to folks’ hearts than their minds.
Hahaha, thanks Matt! You make a good point 😁
Many thanks for your kind words. I think you’re right. What phones do to the attention we give to others is more important than what they do to our attention span.
Yes, and seeing it so clearly articulated in your article and this thread is great and helpful—to recognize in ourselves and teach to others.
Thanks Brigitte :)
What an insightful, articulate look at digital distraction. You set the tone so well with the scene at the restaurant in Turkey. "... a holidaymaker in her 30s pushes a forlorn kofte around her plate." Then we learn that our holidaymaker is dining alone ... WITH her mother.
Nailing one of the 4 P's -- specifically "place" -- really drew me in, wanting more. And you delivered. As someone who has struggled creating a sense of setting in a story, your work reminds me how just a few details, like "a forlorn kofte" can be so effective. Very well done!
Thanks Larry! That means a lot, coming from you.
Some years ago, I gave away my television because I found it was too easy to watch Rubbish, hoping it would improve, it knowing that it probably wouldn't.
Unless I'm expecting a call, I keep my smart phone switched off.
Knowing how easy it is to doom scroll, I don't look at any of my social media except substack.
Now, my mind is full of stories, all I have to do is dictate them (into My Phone of course)
You were ahead of the times, Tom.
I remember when I got my first-ever mobile phone. I was living in Rome. I bought it off my flatmate. That night we went out for dinner with friends, some of whom worked for mobile providers. They asked to see my phone.
When I handed it round, it caused consternation. “It’s switched off!”
“Of course. We’re having dinner.”
“You Brits!”
Little did they (or I) know how things would change.
I am as guilty as the next for time spent on my digital necessity, way too much time!! The perfect tool for escapism. It has become an extension of my flesh and bones.
I believe this phenomenon will/is having societal wide implications beyond our comprehension. Bring back the days of public telephone boxes and reverse charge calls!!! Thank you for reminding to put it down/turn it off once in a while Simon!
Reverse charge calls! Now that does bring back memories. Parents are probably pleased to see those get lost in the long grass.
I'm guilty of being distracted when watching TV! (My partner's fave TV show is RuPaul's Drag Race) I would clean the house and think I'm "being productive" but really I'm robbing us of quality time. Being distracted can look so many different ways. Thanks for shining a light on this one.
Thanks Becky. From your posts, I had you down as the Drag Race fan in your household.
Haha! No she got me!
Spot on, Simon - when you mentioned TV I was thinking exactly the same thing about programmes with subtitles (and you clearly have excellent taste in shows!). A very enjoyable read but on a thought-provoking topic too.
Thanks Alan - interesting that your thoughts went to programmes with subtitles too. Any shows you’d recommend?
I enjoyed Dark on Netflix (nevermind subtitles, a very complex storyline that includes time travel and family members at different ages, so definitely one that needs followed closely!) and Engrenages (aka Spiral) - a French detective show and also Dix Pour Cent (aka Call My Agent) for a more light-hearted watch!
This is a harsh mirror. Ouch. One of those things that we hate to do and hate even more when reflected back at us.
I need to check out those nordic shows, they sound awesome.
Really enjoyed the read, Simon
Also, the family bake off channel!! That's too nice
It morphed a few years ago from a group chat about the Apprentice when some of us couldn’t take another 10 weeks of “Yes, Lord Sugar, three bags full, Lord Sugar”, “hit the ground running”, “I’m not here to make friends”, “I stepped up”, “I don’t think you’ve seen the best of me yet”, “I sold more than anyone else on my team”, and “if you make me project manager next week I won’t let you down”.
Thanks Claire! It’s a mirror I ignore too often.
Those TV shows are great. Difficult to know which to recommend to start with. If you like politics and intrigue, Borgen. If murder mysteries are more your thing, The Bridge. If you like both, The Killing!